S01E22 Human Mutants, Anxiety Disorders & How Trust Brings Us Into The Present Moment

The Chorus discusses human evolution in terms of our expansion into energetic tools, and points out that our fascination with the exceptionally-powerful-mutant storyline may be closer to home than we think. Katie shares more about her experiences channeling The Chorus over the years, including her experience of chronic anxiety, and how her understanding of what anxiety indicates has changed over time. Enjoy!

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Something very funny, and also not funny just happened.

In this episode, we talk a little bit about anxiety, kind of a different perspective on anxiety disorders. And I was thinking to myself, you know what’s really like a top notch example of anxiety? It’s a kid before an amusement park.

Now, we are actually in the process, right now, of packing to take our son to an amusement park and I have gone to great lengths to hide the fact that that’s something that we’re going to be doing while we’re on this trip…because I didn’t want to deal with his anxiety and excitement over being able to go to this epic experience.

So I’m sitting here thinking about that, and thinking about how tomorrow’s the day we fly, you know, it’s only a couple days away, this is the crunch time, I really got to make sure that he doesn’t find out or it’s going to be hellacious the next three days…And as I’m sitting here, thinking about that, he walks up to the door and taps on the glass in my office and I say, ‘Come on in, I’m not recording.’ And he goes, ‘Okay, Mom, I finished brushing my teeth and I’m ready for stories.’ And he kind of, you know, wanders over to the edge of my desk.

And I say, ‘Okay, go ahead, I’ll be right up behind you.’ And he looks down on my desk…And the TICKETS were on the corner of my desk. I hadn’t expected him to be back in my office tonight! I had set them out so that I wouldn’t forget! And he looks down and he goes, ‘Oh, Lego?’

And I go,’uh huh,’ and I flip them over trying to not make a big deal out of it.

And then he goes, ‘Lego Land?’

And I go, ‘yeah.’ And the he gets this look on his face as the whole thing clicks, and he starts jumping up and down. He tries to be calm, then he goes, ‘thank you, it’s gonna be really fun.’ And then he, you know, tears out of my office…My life is gonna be hell for the next three days. And on that note, let’s talk a little bit more about anxiety.

In the first part of the episode, you’ll hear directly from The Chorus themselves, and then afterwards we will discuss. I got to go get some sleep, somebody is going to be waking me up very early…


[Starts at 4:06]

There are many ways that humanity is evolving right now. One of the ways of which we have spoken is in terms of your growing capacity, or understanding of your energetic tools. These tools are vast and varied. And you yourselves will come up with the names, what we lovingly call your squeaks and whistles on the frequencies of your sound, to describe these things.

At first, they may feel very similar. It may be difficult to tell the difference at times between what you are sensing or perceiving energetically. As you continue to expand, your ability to identify the nuances, the subtle differences between these things will grow. And what once felt like a muddled cluster of new perceptions will begin to spread outward into clear and distinct and powerful capabilities.

You are very special, Beloved Ones. Very unusual, we might suggest. We understand that your societies right now have a story. A fictional plot line that you greatly enjoy on the topic of mutants, and mutation…that there could be something unusual in your genetic codes that would unlock you could say, capabilities, powers, super powers, as you call them, that would be different or unusual compared to the remainder of your populations. We find this extremely amusing because from our vantage points, you yourselves are the mutants.

You are the ones who volunteered, you might say, for a most unusual experience of limitation. And in so doing, you brought yourselves to the culmination of Creation, in which difference, newness, and life are birthed. Thus, you yourselves are the ones who are evolving, who are mutating, you could say, who are demonstrating for so many of the rest of us what is possible.

There will be times in the weeks and months ahead, in which you may have sensations of fear or dread or unknown. As you now know, this is a reflection of your ability to stand at what we would call the energetic fence line between the limitations of this game which you created, and also the perception of new and different energy. And this perception of new and different energy is largely through a growing recognition of yourselves and what you are, and are capable of. It is not always about something or someone else approaching. It is not always about some other event coming to fruition. Rather, it has more to do with each of you.

In those moments, we would suggest that there is no ticking clock. There is no timeline. That this is all unfolding most beautifully and most lovingly. And as you feel that anxiety or that agitation, perhaps feel more a specialness, an understanding, of a uniqueness that you are, that is growing ever so quietly and lovingly in the background. Turn towards yourselves and what, just possibly, you might be beginning to perceive about life and creation.

From our perspective, there is no ‘dooms day’, as you call it. There is only a breaking down of barriers, a flying over of walls, rays of light illuminating everything that you are,…and your consciousness expanding. When you feel the earth and life around you begin to shake, understand, Beloved Ones, it is you who are the Titans.

We love you infinitely.

Discussion with Katie

[Starts at 10:17]

I don’t know if you’ll hear it, in the final version of this episode, because I usually edit out the long pauses when I’m channeling…But in that message from them, I was hesitating.

I wish I could give you a play-by-play of what was going on inside of me, of what goes on inside of me broadly, I guess, when I channel. I’m having a conversation with them at the same time that I’m channeling. There is a sort of filtering process, I guess you could say, where I am receiving their concepts and understanding what they’re talking about. But then I am also evaluating it and connecting it and sort of checking whether or not I think I heard them clearly and whether or not I believe this will be helpful. I don’t know how to not do that.

Interestingly enough, over time, it has decreased. In the beginning, when I opened to channel, I researched it, like I do with most things. And I read about how to do it and how you would know if you connected to a loving spirit and how to evaluate their answers and see if their answers were more expanded than your answers. And there was also several cautionary tales I came across, where they said that it was possible to connect to a being that is malicious, or not nice, I guess, is a way to put it.

Seeing as I had not a lot of experience in channeling or psychic gifts, or these kinds of things, not consciously anyways, it seemed like a very real possibility to me that I didn’t know who I was connecting to. So it seemed possible that you might, you know, cross lines with something you might not want. So in the early months, I spent a lot of time both trying to hear them clearly, as clearly as I could, and then also evaluating what I had heard. And I had to do these two things separately. I had to get into a very calm, sort of empty mind space. It was a meditative space, you could say, it was a refuge place that I had learned to go to, especially when my illness was really bad. And I met them there in that space. And from the time I opened to them, it was a bit of a of a race before my mind would really start to kick in with all sorts of fears and concerns and, and basically an inability to stay calm any longer.

The stretches got longer and longer as I went along…that was was a lot of ‘longs’…But as I went along with The Chorus, I could go for longer and longer stretches where I was trusting them, where my brain allowed for more information to come through before it would start to get really agitated.

But in the beginning, I mean, maybe a handful of minutes before my brain was just like ‘no, no more of this too much. It’s too weird, it’s too unknown. We don’t know if we’re safe, we don’t know what’s happening. Shut it all down.’

So most of the time, I would write down what they said. In the beginning, I would try and type it…typing was easier for me to just do kind of automatically…and I would type down their messages and then afterwards I would go back and reread them and see if I felt like they were helpful.

Over time, I began to speak them and I would record the messages as I was talking to them, or they were talking to me, however you want to put it…and then I would go back and listen to them. And so, you know, writing after writing, recording after recording after recording, I strengthened or lengthened, whatever you want to say, in my ability to connect to them and my ability to trust myself and the connection.

And so then I started doing even more experiments. I started seeing when and where and for how long I could maintain that connection. So I started going on runs while channeling or walking while channeling or hiking while channeling.I started doing shopping while channeling, grocery shopping, things like that. I channeled while I drove. I channeled while I tried to do house projects and things here and there. Just anything I could think of…basically, any solitary activity. And it did get easier, easier and easier and easier. In fact, to the point where it was such an easy access, it was such an easy, I don’t know, it was like picking up a phone line. They were just there every time.

And it was my self doubt…it was my, like, ‘no, really? Are you still there?’ I’d hang up the phone line, a couple days later, I’d come back, pick up the phone line. And they’d be like, you know, all radiant and loving – ‘hello!’ I’d say ‘really? Are you really there?’ You know, hang up the phone line, go back, come back again. It went on and on.

It’s been a long time now that they’ve said that the connection is made, that…I don’t know…these frequencies, whatever you want to call it, are a part of me. And yet, I still have moments of self doubt. I still have moments where I’m not quite sure I’m hearing them correctly. It’s almost like once I get to a point of comfort with them, there’s a new mile marker that gets thrown out ahead of me that then I work to reach. A new challenge, a new way of trusting it, a new way of strengthening…maybe my ability? Of stretching my ability further?

It was like that for many years. When I thought I had finally grown comfortable with a version of our ability to connect then there was some other connection that came through, some other challenge that was further than I had ever reached. I thought that maybe that was done. But over the course of this podcast, there have been more messages that have been coming through off air, I guess you could say, more things that I’m starting to understand, more things that they’re teaching me.

And so while I can see the distance that I’ve come…I am still working on it, you could say…

So they said a couple things today that I hesitated about. Some of the things they are alluding to, I am familiar with, very familiar with. But they do it in such a way that it’s kind of like ‘well, which of these topics are you guys talking about? And which of these other things is brand new?’ And they sort of mash them all together and send them over.

The things that I hesitated on were the specifics. So firstly, when they brought up the idea of mutants, because I know that is not a simple topic for many people out there. I know geneticists, so even in the pure science world, there are things that we are uncovering about this. But then I also know through some friends, and through some experiences that I’ve had, that in the whole extra terrestrial domain, there are questions about our genetic origins, our lineages. This idea of mutation and whether or not mutation has happened naturally or has had some other causes. And these theories would be easy to laugh at from a distance. But honestly, once you start to wade into it just a little bit, there are a lot of very reasonable questions that people have. Now the answers might seem very improbable or unreasonable. But to me, that doesn’t actually negate the questions themselves.

And then The Chorus wraps up today with the word ‘Titans’…Now, this is funny on multiple levels for me, and they do this often. I have just been writing website copy because we were working on sort of a redesign of the website and at a certain point in the website copy, I sort of jokingly alluded to them as…I don’t know what I said…’titans of non physical clarity’ or something like that. And then today, while I am recording a message for you all…which we sort of have like a contract. I don’t know. I’m sort of like ‘alright you guys say what, you know, you think needs to be said on the show and I, sort of, kind of, kind of try…to just sit back and let it come out.’ (Except today of course, I was super judgy. I was like, ‘I don’t know that this is what you should say, guys, I don’t know.’)

And then the little stinkers wrap up the message today with the word Titans. And not just put it back…put it back at me in the message…but they said, when the earth or our lives, life around us, starts to shake, remember that you are the Titans.’

So, you know, of course, I’m hesitating as they’re sending over these messages because I understand what they’re saying. And I know what they want me to say. And I’m not totally sure I feel comfortable saying it. It opens up a lot of questions! That I don’t really have answers to, honestly…Definitely led to a lot of late night research on the internet about Titans and nephilim…nephelum? Nephilim? Man, was that a rabbit hole.

Alright, so even though I can’t tell you the entire history of our species at this juncture, and whether or not we are truly physically descended from the Titans…I don’t have an opinion on that yet, guys. Maybe I will one day. Hope to. I don’t know. It’s fascinating stuff. I can however, talk about some other things in today’s message.

All right, so let’s start with the first term of mutants. And why The Chorus is joking, sort of, when they say that, to them, WE are the mutants.

So classically, in a Five Senses perspective, a human considers mutation solely based on what we have discovered to be our genetic makeup, our genetic code. And often but not always, those mutations demonstrate themselves in a five senses kind of way. So you look different, you sound different, you know, something in your physical being, your comportment, demonstrates that you are slightly off the norm. Now, we’ve recently had an episode on the mind-body instrument, Episode 20, in which we talked about how, from the perspective of us here in the game, the body is the body and the mind is the mind, these things are separate. Though they are intertwined, they do interrelate, but you sort of have your physical format, you have your body, and then you think thoughts, largely, we believe, with the squishy substrate that’s in our heads. We think that’s mind, or the center point of it, and the mind and the body kind of work together. And sometimes they don’t work together so well. But we see this distinction, because we live it, from our perspective, this is how we engage with our realities.

From the perspective of The Chorus, however, they see our beliefs as being the core and the foundation of our instruments. And that the way we look, the way we behave, the way we think, are really all just demonstrations, are reflections of our belief systems. And as our beliefs change, so too would our physical representation on these wavelengths. This is why, to them, from a more broader perspective, we all look a lot alike, because we all share a very similar foundation of beliefs.

Now though, there are differences in those things…I have a different personality, I have a different way of understanding myself, and the world, than other people do…I still am in fundamental agreement with the premises that underlie this game. I am…I’m humanoid, is a way to put it.

So similarly, when we look at genetic mutation, or mutations in us and in our species, we look solely at the five senses representation of that, because we’re still learning how to see more than that. We’re still learning how to perceive energy on broader levels, on broader frequencies, than just our five senses. But also, similarly, The Chorus has a different perspective on mutation. And from their standpoint, our mutation has more to do with the frequencies that we’re on, meaning, they look at our definition of mutation as being representative of when something is unusual, or outside the norm, or maybe outside the majority. They look at that underlying meaning of this thing. And they say, well, you guys are that to us.

Basically, we all in The Chorus live in, sort of, these other wavelengths of infinite love and creation and light…and you guys chose to have this experience of limitation, and this is, this experience is at the cutting edge. And it’s very specific, and not everybody is doing it. So basically, if you look at the definition of mutant and mutation, as one that is unusual, or outside the norm, or capable of doing something that others are not…to them, that’s us.

So now you might be like, ‘what the heck can we do that they can’t?’ Because they’re out in infinite flowing energy. So technically, they could manifest anything in the infinite universe, while here we sort of deny it. And I would agree, except that also, that’s kind of the superpower. Is that here, we can deny it.

They’ve said in many episodes before, how much what we have created in terms of our belief systems, and our ability to create this environment of limitation, was a colossal undertaking and achievement. And here, in this episode, they’re sort of reminding us of this perspective, again, by way of the concept of mutation, which we can relate to. And so they’re saying, ‘well, you guys have a superpower. It’s that you can create, exist in, experience, sort of dive into the depths of limitation. And not only have you pulled this off in an infinite universe, which is incredible, but because of your abilities to do this, and to be here, you are expanding, and you are also expanding those of us who get to be in contact with you, who get to observe you, through this experience. So in many ways, we are the exceptional ones to them.

But this isn’t the only level they touched on in today’s message, because there’s another, very important topic that they brought up and linked to this one. And that was the topic of our energetic tools.

Now, if you listen to prior episodes, we sort of dipped our toe in the water of what some of these energetic tools are…”tools”…however you want to say it: powers, abilities, sensory perceptions…There’s a lot of different ways that we’re going to be able to define these things as we go forward. So they are very loosely using the word “tools”. It’s like a giant categorical bucket to them. And, in prior episodes, some of the tools that we have touched on are tools like intuition, and inspiration.

Now, largely energetic tools are abilities to sense more about what’s going on. And in many ways, we have been using some of these energetic tools for a little while now already, while we’ve been Awakening, but we just are coming to consciousness of what that is, and why that is, more and more, now. And as they pointed out in today’s message, for humans today, many of these energetic tools are going to feel kind of muddled. Like they’re going to feel like one big bundle, one big thing maybe, that it’s sort of like, ‘yeah, I kind of get that I have an intuition about what’s happening, or what’s going to happen, or I kind of feel inspired to do something.’ But right…but the distances, the differences, between these things feel a little vague to us, at this juncture. We’re not totally sure what’s a feeling of inspiration versus what is an inspired idea? We attach more often to the Five Senses representation of a thing, like the thought, or the pair of shoes, more than we are able to really hold consciously, in a steady way, the feeling of that thing prior to it manifesting.

In the early years of channeling The Chorus, while I was sort of working on this musculature, to hold a steady connection with them, regardless of what I was manifesting on the Five Senses, I experienced what you might call a low grade agitation or fear almost constantly, I guess you could say. I mean it was ever present.

Now as they alluded to in today’s message, and as we have talked about in prior episodes, the sensation of fear is our indicator that we’re standing sort of at the peripheral edge of the belief systems that we agree to in this game. When someone is about to encounter a thing that pushes the boundaries on what the collective here allows for, a representation of that, that we often feel, is fear or anxiety.

What’s interesting, however, and what I have learned over the years, in being connected to beings that are squarely outside our game, is that there is a fear and an agitation that sets in and is active in us, often, for a long time before we are conscious of it. This was a major part of my Awakening, in terms of getting more comfortable with things that are outside of the norm. It’s not just that I had fear when I was channeling The Chorus. It was not just that I had fear after that had manifested. And it’s not just that I had fear as I was getting ready to channel them. It’s that, over time, I awoke to the sensations that I would get in advance of those manifestations.

So, often, as I mentioned, in the evenings was when I channeled, but I didn’t channel every evening. I mean, some evenings, I just kind of wanted to be normal. It’s not like I was running home, you know, everyday after work, getting all the evening stuff done, and then like, you know, hopping into a quiet corner of the house, eager to channel. Sometimes I was, you know, but often, life was hard. Awakening was hard. I mean, there was all sorts of emotions and illness and things falling apart. So you know, it wasn’t like I was skipping to some quiet corner of the house, it’s more like I was barely crawling there…on my stomach…you know, just like, barely eking in to land to sort of be like, ‘okay, I made it. What the hell was that?’ You know…

So on the nights that I was not channeling, sometimes they would be very fine. I would be sort of in the moment, you know, just dealing with work stress or whatever, sometimes having a good time being with my family. But then there would start to be these evenings, where this sort of like, antsiness would take hold. And I would feel like I didn’t know what to do with myself. I would feel like I had energy, but I was also really tired. I would try to get involved in something in the house, maybe to make myself feel better, like trying to organize something or you know, things like that, that you feel like usually make this thing feel better? Just cleaning up your environment, or I don’t know, maybe I’ll just check those emails, just get those done. And often, that would help momentarily. But then that feeling of anxiety would return. That feeling of anxiety would then compound, you could say, over the days to follow. So I would wake up, still a little anxious. And then things would happen throughout the day, and the feelings would kind of come and go. Sometimes I would get distracted or, you know, it’d be so busy, I would kind of not even be conscious of how I was feeling. But then when I returned to the quiet moments, like in like a solitary drive home or something, I would find that the anxiety was there. This would go on for a period of time, until eventually I would reconnect to The Chorus. And at this point in my journey, I did not think to ask them about this agitation.

What I asked them about, instead, was all the things that I was noticing while I was agitated. So why…is there this kind of suffering in the world? Or ‘why do I think this?’ Or ‘why is this hard for us?’ Or ‘how do you guys look at this thing?’ And those were all very informative conversations, and I think really helped continue to solidify my ability to connect to them, and also expanded me in other ways. But it did not really serve to resolve this underlying anxiety that characterized a lot of my days for years.

In previous episodes, The Chorus has mentioned that oftentimes we hold beliefs that are active through Awakening, because they serve as an engine, they serve as a way of moving us forward through beliefs. We talked about this briefly in a few episodes ago about disease. That oftentimes when we are ill, that illness will propel us forward through an incredible number of beliefs that we had adopted for the purposes of limitation, but that we are now coming to conscious awareness of.

It was true that I was sick through all of this. And it is true that potentially some of my disease was driving my anxiety. And also, there is an equally valid perspective that says that that low grade anxiety, that drives us to question many of the things in our lives, is also serving as an engine of Awakening for us.

So fast forward to this year, and to recording this podcast and where I am today. And where is my connection to The Chorus at today? Well, by this point in time, I can connect to them while I’m doing pretty much anything. I can be chopping broccoli in the kitchen, and sort of check in with their energy and their perspective. If it’s a big message, I usually need to kind of sit down and really still my brain, really calm it down, to let in a big new perspective. But if it’s little, little nudges, here, or there, little sharings little, little points that they’re making, it’s relatively easy for me to continue what I’m doing on the Five Senses, while simultaneously be sort of checking in with them in these brief spurts.

So in the spring, when I started recording the podcast, and I was capable of doing this then, I noticed that as I was recording the podcast, I would get these very anxious evenings. And it was funny because the last year and a half or so, you know, as I’ve been, I don’t know, recovering, rebuilding my life, whatever you want to call it…it’s been relatively quiet. I’ve had definite panic attacks, things like that, experiences of fear as things have continued to evolve. But it was like, kind of different. I don’t know, I didn’t have the same sort of long term anxiety, and it started to come back. But at this point, it was so obvious, and it was so evident to me, that I was finally able to ask The Chorus and say, ‘what is this? This has been around for a really long time. And I’ve changed a lot and I’ve been through a lot, I feel like things have evolved. But this is still here. What is it?’ (Kind of like I was finally able to ask about depression at a certain point? Kind of like I was able to ask about other things when I was ready to be done with them? Are you noticing a theme? Okay). And so they said, ‘you are awakening to what it is that you’re actually capable of.’

Which I don’t know, it’s kind of a vague answer and kind of annoying. But in another way, I kind of understood what they were saying. So you know, I allowed for it. I allowed for, ‘okay, so that anxiety is representative of something I am intuiting perhaps? It is a prediction, it is a projection, I am receiving something, potentially that’s coming in the future. A big message, a big ‘a ha’, a big revelation…’ Because usually those things followed this kind of feeling. So I thought, “that’s interesting. I think energetic tools might have something to do with being able to better understand what’s coming in the future, perhaps.’ And of course, all you, we, feel is anxiety because that’s new energy coming in.

And from a certain standpoint, this is true. Much of our anxiety has something to do with things that we know are coming. And I know that many of you who are listening to this podcast, especially if you’ve made it all the way to Episode 22 have had sensations of this as well. And you might look around in your day-to-day life and you might try and think about what could be coming, but then at the same time really are coming up short to explain this anxiety, this anxiousness, of a thing that will be arriving that maybe you feel like you need to prepare for or do something for…And then yet there’s nothing really to do. Because you don’t really know what to do.

So I went along with that idea for several weeks. And I tried to track what it was that I could be anticipating. I tried to understand when and where I was feeling the anxiety, and then I would start to sort of assess what was going on, and how that might start to play out.

But you know, it didn’t always work. Sometimes there was a thing that came through, sometimes there was a message, sometimes there was a big revelation. And sometimes it just didn’t exactly line up. Sometimes nothing came through or not in a period of time that I could understand or connected to…Sometimes other stuff happened, which confused me because the sensations were similar. And I didn’t understand how they connected to, how they lined up, how they matched.

So I came back to The Chorus again. I said, ‘okay, I understand what you’re saying that this has something to do with how I am understanding what I’m doing. But I don’t understand how this anxiety just keeps coming up. Like if I understand that this is it, then why am I kind of bumping up into another wall? Why doesn’t this feel expansive? Why does this feel like it fits?’

Maybe you felt that too in these episodes, when you hit a new note, when something sinks in, there is a different kind of resonance, it just feels lighter, feels like you let something go. And this didn’t feel like that. So I knew I hadn’t quite gone far enough.

And then they made a suggestion about trust that’s sunk in on a whole new level.

If you listened to Episode Five on trust, you know that from their perspective, we basically created the idea of lack of trust. It’s our basis, it’s where we come from. We have an innate lack of trust in all things. And so we create fantastic experiences of reasons why we shouldn’t trust. We energize the idea of lack of trust. And it has been a great part of our own limitations.

One of the greatest ways that we experience lack of trust is in ourselves. We have all sorts of unconscious beliefs that lead us in the opposite direction, from feeling, from trusting, from identifying, from being consciously aware of all the things that we would otherwise be able to perceive. We have, technically speaking, infinite energetic abilities. And we limited all of that, to have this experience here. And one of the ways that we limited that perception was by not trusting them.

So as I’m sitting at the kitchen table one night, feeling this anxiousness, feeling this anxiety sort of sweep over me all over again…And I start thinking about what is it that’s coming? What is it that I’m sensing the arrival of? And then they made a suggestion about trust…

I realized that it wasn’t about trusting my perception of something forward in time on a mental projection. It wasn’t about perceiving something in advance. Although all of those things are possible. It had more to do with my Awakening to my own trust of my own senses. In. That. Moment.

I was feeling anxious that evening, at that point, at the kitchen table, because I was sensing something in that moment. It had never been so direct before, it had never been so immediate. I always felt like, I don’t know, it had to be somewhere else, somewhere ahead of me, somewhere outside of me, somewhere beyond me, that I was perceiving.

And in a way, I was gradually walking myself back towards a present moment presence, where we receive more of what we are.

And so I said to The Chorus, ‘someone’s here. Now.’ And they said, ‘yeah.’

I said, ‘I am sensing new energy that I am able to perceive right now.’ And they said, ‘yes.’

And you know what, as soon as I acknowledged that possibility, as soon as I was able to see what I was capable of doing, that I was able to walk through enough beliefs of lack of trust to even reach that point and get there…within a few minutes of acknowledging the fact that I was truly sensing something in that moment, the anxiety went away.

By all accounts, our species right now is going through a sort of anxiety crisis. There are a lot of people, right now, with what we call anxiety disorders. Now, in a limited environment of manifestation, where there are only so many things that truly we can experience here, it is possible that anxiety could mean many different things energetically for many different people, but still be characterized on the five senses in the same way. I believe this to be true about anxiety. I believe that though some people are having anxiety for many different reasons, I do believe that there are some who are having anxiety because they are able to perceive things that they are unable to account for on the Five Senses. And what this is walking them towards, is a present moment understanding of their abilities to perceive energy.

Sure, maybe they’re anxious over the state of the world, maybe they’re anxious over their kids, maybe they’re anxious over their jobs, or their businesses, or the health of other family members or their own health…There are any number of things that we could all list right now that would be cause for concern. Or also, they might be doing what I did for many years, they might be being driven by an engine, at an accelerated rate, through all sorts of beliefs. Beliefs about their relationships, about needing to earn, about following their passions, about trust, about ideas of life after death. They might be on a rocket through Awakening, driven by a sensation that comes over them that they can’t explain. But that is attention grabbing, is agitating, and gets us to move.

I don’t think I would have found those quiet corners in my house as often as I did if I wasn’t overwhelmed by anxiety, and fear, and a whole lot of other emotions. And I don’t know, it feels risky to say that maybe I’m done with that engine now that I’m finally seeing it for what it is. But maybe, I am also starting to see it for what it is. As we said in Episode Five on trust, when you’re done with the experience of the mysterious and the unknown, you start stepping into the known and a broader experience of trust in ourselves.

The Chorus thinks we’re mutants because we volunteered for an experience of limitation that is unlike anything else that they’ve ever encountered. But there’s actually another definition that they are alluding to in terms of calling out how exceptional we are. And it has to do with this sensation of anxiety. And it has to do with a lot of things that we’ve been talking about in this podcast so far. There is a trait, there is a thing, that makes humankind unique. Whether we are here on these wavelengths of limitation, or elsewhere. What do you think that could be? It’s kind of hard to guess at times, isn’t it? I mean, what are we like when we’re not here and limited? Who knows?

But The Chorus has an idea and it’s something that they have been pointing out to me for a number of years. There is something that we experience here that is part of our larger energetic selves. As they have expressed, even here, we could not deny this aspect of who we are…And that is nothing less than…our emotions.

From the viewpoint of The Chorus, not only are we mutants or are we unusual because of the experience that we are having here, very powerfully, and what we are teaching others by way of this experience, but also we have a unique trait, which they call our emotions.

It’s difficult for most of us to even imagine existence without emotions. But in an infinite universe, this is possible. That anxiety that we feel, that fear that we feel, all those other emotions too, are a very special, very unique way that we are able to perceive energy…that not all life shares with us.

There are other ways to perceive energy, but by our agreement to participate in this experience of limitation, by conscious recollection, we have perceived none. As a collective, we don’t really know what other ways you could perceive energy, what other ways perhaps you could experience a reality, without FEELING it.

I spent years being driven around by my anxiety, hoping it would go away. Until one day, I realized it was telling me something true about myself, something that was real, something that I was perceiving in real time. And once I was able to accept it, to see it, to truly turn towards it, to finally step through my own experience of limitation, the sensation itself completely transformed.

Anxiety, like all of our emotions, is a perception of energy. And that energy that I was perceiving was a friction, a friction of Awakening, between beliefs that I had, that unconsciously were driving me to look at anything other than that I could possibly be truly perceiving something in the present moment…and the part of me that was awakening to that possibility.

What else about us will continue to transform as we are able to consciously see it?

So now I have a question for you, my fellow mutants. The next time you feel anxious, is it because something terrible is about to happen? Is it because there’s more in the world to not trust? Or could it also be because you are awakening to a new level of trust of yourself? You are becoming aware of your abilities to perceive energy. And that you are perceiving potentially many things right then,…in that moment.

And you might ask, ‘Katie, do I feel that way because there’s something I’m perceiving right then in that moment to be afraid of?’

Well, truly, only you can determine that. But maybe I can save you some time. Because I have logged a lot of miles walking, hiking, shopping, and generally just talking to The Chorus, and testing everything they said, to be sure that it was trustworthy. And do you know what i found through all of that? Not a better rubric by which to challenge non-physical beings as to their trustworthiness. I found a way through my own beliefs of lack of trust.

I feel more comfortable today, I feel like I could actually turn towards that perception in the present moment, not because I have a greater trust for non-physical beings after having spoken to many of them. I feel that way because…I trust…me.


Unsponsored shoutout to Music from Artlist:

Show Intro: Floating Point by Roie Shpigler
Chorus Transition In: Destiny by Runar Blesvik
Chorus Transition Out: Sleep Tight by Stanley Gurvich
Outro: Reaching For The Stars by Anthony Vega

View List of Season 1 Episodes

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