S02E02 Loose Ends, The Unexplained, Failures & You Are Doing It By Going Through It

The Chorus suggests that, as our speed of Awakening is accelerating, we may find that more topics are opening than closing. Meaning, for a time, it may feel like there are more loose ends, more things that are unexplained, and more topics coming up that we do not see connections between. The Chorus assures us that there are energetic links between what appears on the 5 Senses to be disparate and scattered. Katie likens this experience to the the human sensations of failure or futility, and shares an extraordinary story of connection to new beings beyond The Chorus.

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Kick Off

I spent my early career in startups, mostly around the area of Boulder, Colorado, which about, I don’t know, 15 or 20 years ago was really hit hitting a crescendo, like an influx of startups and tech meetups and things like that. And so I was sort of raised…raised? How old am I? I don’t know. I was sort of…brought up in this startup culture of fail fast, break things, try again, listen to the customer, decentralize, share with others…Sort of this ethos of building companies and solutions to existing problems in new ways. 

So as you can imagine, with startups, you fail a lot. Just all the time. And I think as part of the startup ethos, you learn to embrace that because you can’t just stop at a failure, you have to keep going. The failure is just new data. It’s new information. It’s just part of the arc. 

But I remember I had been working in startups for some number of years. So sort of deeply embedded in this bubble, if you will. And I went to a networking event. And I was talking to someone else who had was coming from, I think, large companies, a long history in large companies and places where they had worked on projects for sort of years at a time and big budget. Which is very different than startups that have usually not a lot of money or time to make money before you’re just sort of totally broken busted and you have to go work at Starbucks again. 

And this person says something about “oh, I’ve heard you word in startups. And how did that go?” 

And I said, “yeah, I’ve done a few now. I don’t know, my first one failed colossally…” 

And as I said, that, as I just rattled that off – “my first one failed colossally” – I watched as their expression sort of, was stunned. Like stunned, shifted their body posture, like blinked rapidly. Like, “oh, ah, uh, did she just say that?” You know…And I was fascinated. Fascinated! Because for so long, I had been among people who were so comfortable with the idea of failure as just…as just being part of daily life. It’s just part of how you build stuff. That I came across someone who had clearly not been in that place, clearly would be penalized for failing, clearly avoided failing, and maybe even feared it for the sake of their career or their job. 

It was an incredible moment of contrast. 

And I immediately, perhaps even instinctively softened what I said, and I said, “well, we had this many customers, and this many…and we pivoted into this other thing.” You know, I carried the story quickly FORWARD from that point of failure into what happened next. 

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this with other humans you’ve talked to and maybe even in talking to yourself…When the story continues, that sense of failure softens. 

“Oh, thank God they figured it out. It wasn’t just a failure. They learned something or they sold the company or it kept going.” 

Perhaps not dissimilarly, The Chorus today is making an introduction to a new way that they will be going forward. One in which, from a broader vantage point, from their vantage point, looks seamless and connected and all moving in the right direction.

From a human standpoint, we may not be able to see those connections as clearly. And so to us, through this next phase of awakening, it may look like things have been left unresolved. Have been disconnected, have been frustratingly unexplained. And it may seem like the loose ends are piling up more than the connected pieces are. 

That sense of a loose end is not unlike the human experience of failure. 

When something stops, when it dead ends, that energetic perspective that we hold is one that we might call failure. 

But from another equally valid perspective, there are no actual dead ends. All things are energetically connected, weaving and expanding infinitely. And that perspective is one that you will hear now.

In the first part of the episode, you’ll hear directly from The Chorus and afterwards we will discuss. Talk to you soon. 

The Chorus

There are many activities in which humanity is engaged today. 

You are searching for life and existence beyond your planet and are finding interesting expressions of energy beyond your stratosphere. You are engaged in many activities on your home world, where you are discovering different ways of creating and interacting with life and your environment. And you are engaged in what we would call a bit of an internal exploration, coming to an understanding of your own beliefs and thoughts and patterns of behavior, much of which we have spoken about in these episodes. 

There is not a lot that a human can recognize is new and unknown, and not feel the urge to attack it. That is to say, to exert an immense amount of energy in the recognition that you do not yet understand a thing and thus energize the fact that you do not yet understand a thing. 

This has been part of your experience of limitation here. 

Beloved, there are many things that we are about to bring up with you, that will not completely make sense in the moment in which we broach the topic. And that is all right. 

For these topics are all beginning. 

They are all starting to unfold. 

There are many horses in this race, you could say, and they will all make it to the finish line. But sometimes, we will move from one topic to another, not in an effort to confuse you. But in an effort to continue to open the aperture to all that can be learned, to all that is connected, to the larger and greater context into which all of these new pieces of information will fit. 

Were you more energetically connected, and as you become so, you will sense an underlying energetic continuity between the varying topics we bring up. Though from a five senses standpoint what we are discussing may seem to be very different. Some of it may be aspects of your history. Others may be aspects of a day to day experience you are all currently having. From an energetic standpoint, these things are strongly connected.

The Bridge Builder likes to tease us…that if we were left in charge of naming a kindergarten math textbook, we would name it “Introduction to Calculus,” because that is where it starts. 

In a way, we understand her perspective, and ours. Much of what we discuss will not be answered in that episode and in that moment. 

It is the start of a greater understanding, a greater subject, a greater mastery, that all of these things will contribute to. And in so doing, you will begin to see the connectedness of all the different parts of your days, of your lives, of your relationships. Pieces of you that seemed to only fit in certain corners of your day to day activities, will now broaden and relate to one another. You will feel a wholeness of being and all that you represent, that you are able to be present within, in all areas of your life and all activities in which you engage. 

The unification of your parts, of your perspective, is the beginning of your expansion into all that you have been, and are, and will be. 

For one day, in the not too distant future, you will see a clear connection between all those activities that looked beyond your planet, all those activities and the exploration of your planet and your society. And all the activities that led you to question, to explore, to be curious about, all these things that you are and do. 

That greater story, which we wish to reflect to you…is your story. And is everything that humanity is awakening to now. We love you infinitely. And we look forward to weaving this tapestry, this story, this unfolding with you.

Discussion with Katie

I love The Chorus a lot. As you might have guessed by this point in the episodes. 

But when they say anything slightly future leaning about something that’s coming or something we’re about to experience, it’s always like, “Oh, F. Grab a parachute everybody! Lock in. We are about to get pushed out of the airplane.” And it’s that sensation every time. It’s that you could, if you trusted it, feel like the freefall was something incredible and amazing, and that you’re flying. And also it can just feel like you are tumbling through thin air. It can be both. And it’s usually an accelerated experience of that both. 

We’ve been working on the second book. And just like the first book, it all sort of comes down in a rush. And they start off these chapters with, like, an indication of the topic. And so usually I’ll jot down that topic as that chapter heading. And then inevitably, they never get around to talking about that topic in the chapter. They talk about other stuff. 

And if you keep going forward in the first book, and I imagine what will be the same process in the second, you start to get a sense of how they were laying down building blocks. They were laying down stepping stones to get to that new understanding of that topic. 

But for a human that’s not how it works. I mean, when we read a section heading, we expect that heading, that topic, to be discussed and potentially even answered in that section. And for The Chorus, it’s the opposite. They lay down the name of that topic where it starts, where it opens up. 

And so I hate to say it, but the second book so far is full of all sorts of headings that don’t yet get answered. 

I’m excited for the day that they do. I think we all are. And, you know, in their place, are many other interesting topics that I didn’t quite understand were connected to the topics they’re opening up. So it is expansive. And also, it’s kind of frustrating. 

Something interesting that’s happened with the second book so far is that I know the topic broadly, is time and memory. And they are discussing sort of in new ways, our concepts of time, and how we create it. And then, in parallel, there’s this unfolding story about humanity and our history. 

And the thing that has been most interesting to me about this process with this book is that it is totally different than the first book, The first book, they expressed to me all these things, and all these topics, and we sketched them all out. And then I sat down and started writing it, and it came out of me in about six weeks. And then I started the podcast. 

In this case, only part of the story has come out. And it’s been very haphazard, I get these bursts of information where I’ll sit down and write them. And it’s very much about linear time and a new understanding of time. But that second story, that…that story about humanity, our history, and what we are starting to remember, or are about to remember…is lagging. It’s like it’s not there. It’s like there’s this partner story that’s supposed to exist in the book, and it’s not quite materializing. 

I think it has something to do with us. 

They’re waiting. They’re waiting for us to realize important things, big things, historical things, I don’t know what the word is. 

The Chorus has never been one to give something away. They’ll wait. They’ll wait for me to recognize it every time. I can’t tell you how many times they’ve suggested things and suggested things, and I can tell that they’re suggesting something and I just don’t quite get what it is. And it starts to get very frustrating. And then I go through some sort of experience and come out the other side with a totally different understanding of what I thought they were suggesting. And in that contrast, I understand then what I believed. 

I thought they were suggesting something about…I needed to be more self confident or something like that. And then I get to the other side of it and I realize instead that we have fundamental beliefs about obligation, and what we allow ourselves to pursue, which goes way beyond being more confident. And by the distance of those two things, I look across the divide and realize that what I have believed, what I had thought I knew about self confidence, was actually a reflection of a limiting belief that was deeper. 

It’s such an unreal process, it’s almost hard to put into words at times. It’s so energetic, it’s so quick. It’s so nuanced. 

And so I look back at those experiences, and I see that they weren’t just suggesting, they were practically saying it outright. But my perspective, based on the belief that I was awakening to hold, wasn’t ready to hear it. 

Now, we could all berate ourselves for that. Believe me, I have…highly recommend it. No, just kidding. But I started to notice that the berating of myself for not getting it really had next to nothing to do with the process of awakening. Because walking through that painful experience that brought me to the other side and seeing the deeper larger aspect of limitation was the awakening. There’s something else that tells us it should have been easier, it should be more pleasant. We shouldn’t have to suffer like this, I should have already learned enough by now. And that is often coming from the five senses. From the limitation, as we talked about in last week’s episode…

That sense of inconvenience of like, “this is going wrong. It shouldn’t be this bad,” is actually the part of us that is limiting the perspective of the new expanded perspective that we are awakening into. 

I was really struggling these last few weeks, there’s been a lot going on, with everything. In my marriage, and with The Chorus, and new entities that are showing up, and mysterious things that are happening to my body that I don’t understand…All of it. And I was really frustrated one night, and I was like, “You know what the worst part is? It’s that this feels awful right now. And I know that in two weeks time, I’ll feel better. I know that by two weeks from now, I will have passed through this, I will understand it, I will have some sort of amazing epiphany. I’ll see it all more clearly. And I can know all of this, I know exactly where I am, I see what’s happening. I see I’m struggling, I see the beliefs that are contributing to my struggle. I see where I’ll land, I see where I’ll end up.” And yet, I still wasn’t okay with it. 

I still didn’t want to go through it. In fact, it was even more frustrating to watch myself go through it, and to know that there was nothing I could do to just fast forward to that future point in time, when it would all be resolved. 

Honestly? It felt like a lot of bullshit. And I told The Chorus that. I was like, “this is bullshit.” How many friends do I have? How many of you listeners to these and other podcasts have awakened to so much? Have spent so much time being positive or doing cognitive behavioral therapy or seeing how you looked at something and moving through it? Right? We’re all there. And so really, what happens is you just become more aware of your process of moving through it. You don’t always get to circumvent the process. 

Do you know what The Chorus said? Something that really, really pissed me off…in their loving way. They said, Hang on, I wrote it down. Let me go grab it. 

They said: “There are some things you can only learn through failure, for human.”

Ah, they’re correcting me now. 

They’re saying they would say it slightly differently. They’re saying that “our beliefs of failure were one of our greatest creations of limitation. And that in order to transform through the failure, and to leave the game intact, we will have some of our greatest experiences and leaps forward in awakening by way of failure.” 

Wow, does that sound like something you’re looking forward to or what? Can’t wait! Colossal human failures on the horizon that will also propel us into new levels of awakening. 

You see? It’s both. It’s both. 

I can understand how failure can do that and how we can do that through failure. And I respect that. And I appreciate it. At least we can expand even through failure. And also, there’s a part of me that is not looking forward to the experience of the failure. 

And I know what the New Age advice would be. That I need to get okay with failure, that I need to be at peace with being broken. That I need to allow for the mess, the mystery and all the loose ends. 

You’re probably right. 

But also, what if there’s something else we can do? 

Alright, so it’s time I tell you a story. 

And like I’ve said before other stories, and I will probably say again and again, you are not required to believe anything that I’m about to say. The point of all of these stories is not for all of us to continue to agree on the same things, although we can. But we’ve also been doing that for a very long time. The point is, to feel the essence of what I’m saying, to feel the energy of it, to see how it resonates with you, to see if you like it, to see if you feel it or not. That’s it. That’s the whole experience. 

But I think just maybe some of these manifestations, some of these details, some of these characters, some of these things that are starting to unfold, might be a lot of fun too. 

Right after I finished season one…We were finalizing the book and getting ready to push it out for publication. As you can imagine, if you listen to Season One of the podcast, and my experience of coming out of the spiritual closet, it was not a smooth process. I was so nervous, I was nauseous all the time. I was anxious and not sleeping well. And it seemed very hard, very hard to keep going, to push it out and to publish it and to go through all those final steps. 

And as happens in awakening, there was a corollary process going on for me energetically, where in those final days, couple weeks, as we were finalizing all the details of the book, I was simultaneously experiencing an acceleration, unlike anything I’d experienced yet. 

New messages were coming in from The Chorus. And also, I was starting to perceive a whole lot more beings. 

Now, this might sound customary for me at this point. Isn’t that kind of what I do all day long? Well, we’ve not really spent a lot of time defining The Chorus. I mean, they’re loving, and they’re non physical, and they’re out there somewhere. But another way of thinking about them is that they are completely off the game. Meaning they don’t participate in, really, any of our beliefs. And so there are many other beings between sort of that point, and our point where we have galaxies – to use their term – of beliefs.

And in the couple of weeks leading up to publishing the book, this is more of what I started to perceive.

Meaning, beings who are not exactly what we would call five senses human, but beings that were not exactly way way off where The Chorus sits. They were somewhere in between. 

From The Chorus’s perspective, however, these beings were much, much, much closer to our wavelengths. Meaning they shared in a lot of our beliefs of finiteness and insufficiency. 

To us, they might look very different. Even though we might be able to sense a similarity or an ability to understand them. On the five senses spectra, they may be very difficult to perceive at all. And then beyond that, even though I was able to connect with these beings, energetically, there were still palpable differences. So they were at once, something a lot like me, and also something so different, that I had no conscious memory of ever having met anything like them before ever. 

The waves of anxiety I was feeling in the couple of weeks leading up to launching the book, you could very easily say we’re just because I was about to become a first time author. And that’s true. 

But also, as you know, from listening to Season One of the podcast, anxiety often has something to do with a present moment perception. It’s not something you’re thinking about and it’s not something that’s looming in the future. It is, at times, an energetic perception that is coming through to you in the present moment, which the five senses belief system responds to by feeling anxious. Necause you are perceiving something, but it’s not something on the classic five senses wavelengths. And so our belief systems activate, that energetic perception comes through, and that friction between those two things is what we call anxiety. 

As we continue to awaken into our energetic perceptions, that feeling that today we call anxiety will evolve. It will, it will change. But for now it comes through as sort of an agitation, an uncomfortable sensation, perhaps in the pit of our stomach, or in our chest, somewhere in and around our abdomen. It kind of moves around, the more you get to know it. 

So I had waves of anxiety all day, every day. 

And The Chorus was telling me that this was because my energetic perceptions were going through sort of like a burst, a burst of growth, a growth spurt. And as this was happening, I was also simultaneously going about my day, trying to, on the five senses wavelength, while simultaneously feeling so much more energetically than I had ever felt before. 

So this is happening in the background, and, and my beliefs are activated. So I am very BUSY. I am super busy all day, every day. And not even with getting the book ready to be published, like stupid stuff. Like needing to clean out a closet or have to cook something or signing up to do more things or volunteering in my neighborhood. I mean, I don’t know, it just like, it snowballs. And you’re just you just find yourself like crazy busy all of a sudden. 

And so even though I knew this about anxiety, and even though I made a frickin podcast episode about it, there were times when I was completely unaware of what I was sensing. Meaning I had no perspective on it. I was just anxious, and I was busy. And I was doing stuff. 

Now, if you had stopped me in the middle of that, and if you had said, “Katie, why are you so anxious?” I think the most fascinating part of it would have been that I might have acknowledged that I was perceiving more energetically. But that’s about as far as I would have been able to go. I would have been, I would have been, I would have acknowledged that. And then I also would have said, “Oh, and also…the book is about to be published. I’m really nervous about that. It feels like a commitment to this path…” Blah, blah, blah. You see what I’m saying?

It’s not until I moved further into the energetic perceptions, that I was finally able to sort of take a breath. And like, really sense what was happening. 

Now I still couldn’t form a perspective on it. But at least I was like, “yeah, yeah, this is really happening. It’s been going on for days now.” But there was still nothing to be DONE about it. 

In fact, one way of looking at it was that I was doing it by going through it. 

So finally, after a couple of weeks have passed, we launched the book. And we send out all the advanced copies to all the people who have signed up. And even though it wasn’t like publicly available on Amazon, I think, emotionally I considered that the launch. That’s when it was it was finally finally, after all of these years out of me. Out of me, off my desk, out of my computer, it was it was off into the world to live whatever life that book is meant to live. 

And so I don’t know, maybe a day or two days or three days after that happened, I sat down and I was sort of more open. I felt like I had moved through something pretty, pretty uncomfortable. And I could finally take a deep breath and sort of have a retrospective about “Okay, where am I? How did that go? What was all that? What is all this?” 

And I started having a conversation with The Chorus…and as I opened to their frequencies, so to speak, so now I’m coming out of the five senses and opening up to The Chorus. I’m just feeling more open in general…The wave of anxiety hit.

Now this was fascinating for me because usually when I reach for The Chorus, it’s a very soothing type of sensation. I mean, sometimes I become even more aware of my own agitation. But it’s been years now since I have felt an anxiety by perceiving them, although I used to. And in fact, in the beginning, sometimes when I reached for them and connected to that energy as I stepped back away from it back into my daily life, I suffered what might be called a debilitating terror. Connecting to them was always soothing, being on their wavelength was always calming, and healing, you could say. But when I returned to our five senses perspective, almost still carrying the memory or the knowledge or the feeling of them, that reintegration process, that reconnection process, often activated all sorts of beliefs about fear, which translated for me as sensations of terror. 

So as I’m sitting there, after the book is published, and connecting to them, I’m really surprised that I’m feeling anxiety again. But it all sort of clicks, all of a sudden, in a new way. And I realize more of what I had been perceiving in the two to three weeks prior, every time I was anxious. 

So you see, this is a different perspective. If you had stopped me in the middle of the anxiety and said, “Katie, why are you so anxious? I would have said, well, I’m probably perceiving some new stuff. And I’m stressed about the book…” Right, it would have just all been lumped together. Logically up in my head, like it would have made some sense. Enough for me to say it and feel like “Yeah, that’s true.” But it didn’t RESONATE, you could say, it wasn’t all through all of me. 

And after publishing the book, and sitting in the chair with The Chorus in that moment, it resonated. Throughout me. It came down from my head sort of into my whole being.

And I said to The Chorus, “they’re here right now, aren’t they?” 

Now, if you’ve listened to season one, in the episode on anxiety, that’s the same question I came to, through my experience of anxiety with them. So now, I already had conscious recognition of this thing. But do you see how sometimes I can move from being consciously aware of it to back out of that? I had these two weeks of constant anxiety. On one level, I know what anxiety means. And yet, I wasn’t resonant in that clarity, in that understanding. 

So I’m checking in with The Chorus. And I come back to that same question of, “I’m sensing someone that’s here, or someones. I’m sensing a lot that’s happening right now?”

And they said, “Yes. Yes you are.” 

And I said, “and that’s what I have been sensing.” 

And they said, “Yes, you are now becoming conscious of things that you have been expanding into, over these last couple of weeks.” 

And I said, “okay, so do I need to communicate with them?” And if you’ve listened to season one, you’ll know why I asked that question. Because in the earliest days of communicating with The Chorus, they were patching through beings, perhaps members of The Chorus, you could say, who were very interested in seeing behind the curtain, so to speak, in connecting with me energetically, while I was still wholly connected to our belief systems, and seeing how it all worked. And so, in a way, I had grown accustomed to this idea that The Chorus had friends that wanted to understand this human existence, and they would sort of patch them through. 

But The Chorus didn’t do that this time. 

They said, “Yes, you can, if you want to.” 

I said, “What do you mean if I want to?” 

And they said, “well, inspiration, desire all these things…If you want to communicate with these new beings, you can.” 

And I’ll be honest, I was mixed. 

Sort of like “wait a second. I feel like I just crossed a finish line. Like I just finished this the first season of the podcast, I just shipped the book…like who I did it, like why wiping my brow, like seven years of all of this mystery and, and trying to understand and illness and whatever, like I’m here.” And basically on the day,the celebration of finishing those things, it was like this whole new level was just sitting there in front of me. 

And The Chorus was saying, “it’s your choice. It’s your choice if you want to engage in this or not.” 

I wasn’t sure that I did. 

So I thought about it, which is what we do, as humans. I didn’t, I don’t think I can’t remember completely, connect that first night. I think this went on for a few days, where I sort of had different conversations with The Chorus about this process of awakening. 

As they’ve often said, once you come to a new level of understanding of yourself, which you could say was reflected in the physical manifestation of the book, but it’s not like I finished a book and I reached this new level It’s more that I went through awakening to all of the many beliefs that were sort of reflected in an instance of writing a book, of creating a thing in our senses. And now I had arrived at the next door. The next level. 

I don’t know as I sort of acclimated to the idea, but even in the first instance of recognizing it, there was a part of me that was excited. There’s a part of me that wanted to understand this next round of beings. I mean, what could be more fun? To see more different ways of existing? And what must life be like for them? I mean, I’d met so many members of The Chorus, and now I was reaching sort of a different level energetically, and what must they think? Or do they think? And how do their beliefs relate to mine, or to The Chorus. I had so many questions.

And then also, there was the part of me that was terrified. Which is why I knew it was beyond my beliefs. It was beyond things that I had already grown accustomed to acknowledging or understanding. And I was scared. I was scared of a repeat of the last seven years. I was afraid that it would lead down the same road it had before. I didn’t want to lose everything again. I felt like I just started to get my feet under me. And this seemed like a really, really big risk. 

So one night, I finally come back around to sitting down and checking in with The Chorus. And I was feeling waves of anxiety. I had been feeling them for hours, actually. And so I got through all the human things I needed to get through – dinner, dishes, bedtime, you know. And I finally come into my office, and I sit down with The Chorus. 

And I say, “Well, I’m feeling it right now.” 

And they said, “Yes. Yes, you energetically you are perceiving a whole lot more than what’s on your five senses right now.” 

And I said, “I know this. And I think..I think I want to try it. I think I want to try connecting.” 

And The Chorus sort of like, you know, smiling and cheering the way they always do, no matter what you decide, ever. 

And so…I opened…is the only way to describe it. It’s like I leaned into the direction of the anxiety. Maybe it’s like tuning into a radio station. Maybe by that point, it felt natural to me because I’d done it for so long with The Chorus and the anxiety I used to feel over there connection. So I sort of just went toward it, I guess you could say. And of course, someone was there and responded. 

But unlike when I connected to The Chorus for the first time, which was like walking into the biggest celebration, joyful revelry you can ever imagine. 

This time it felt like I walked right into chaos. 

I don’t know the sense was like…beings moving in all directions. People…beings…I don’t know. I guess I can’t call them people. Beings that were concerned. Frustrated. Confused. Some felt neutral, some felt…longing. It was so human compared to the initial times that I had connected to The Chorus. It was like I was standing in the middle of a crowded room or a battlefield or….And the beings closest to me, I guess you could say if we were using the concept of distance, sort of turned in my direction. So consternated about something that it was like, they almost didn’t care that I was a new arrival. And they were sort of just so frustrated with the human situation. Meaning us. Us humans.

They had a perspective of us, they knew us. It felt like they had been trying to work with us for a very long time. And they were practically giving up. 

And I remember one of the first questions they asked me was, “is it futile?” As in, you’re human, you tell us, should we just throw up our hands and give up? And I guess, I could perceive the giving up meaning…on us. Meaning giving up on connecting to us. 

And I kept one hand on The Chorus, throughout this whole discourse. And it was sort of like, “are you guys seeing this?” 

And The Chorus is like, “oh, yeah, yeah.” And, you know, just sort of calm and they’re like, “yep, there it is. Uh, huh. This is great. Isn’t this great?” You know, so as usual, not entirely helpful to a human who’s trying to figure out which way is up and what’s safe and what’s not. So The Chorus is still there, ever The Chorus. 

And I said to The Chorus, “they sound human. I mean, they don’t…they don’t feel human. But, but they also…sound human.” 

And The Chorus said, “yes. They are much, much closer to your wavelengths.” 

And I said, “they’re frustrated, kind of like, we get frustrated.” 

And The Chorus said, “yes.” 

And it just felt so strange. Having energetically connected to The Chorus for so long, who were completely incapable of frustration, because they don’t believe any of the things that we believe. And then to feel another entity – on energetic wavelengths – that’s slightly different, that felt like us, was weird. 

So the beings continued to express their frustration, and almost despair. And they said, “Is it futile?” 

And I said, “Well, I have no idea what’s going on. But I don’t I don’t think it’s futile, because I’m not sure that I believe in futility. Do you?” 

And it was sort of like the energetic equivalent of several of them turning in my direction, as if, as if saying, “what did she say?” 

And this reaction from them was very startling to me. Because it went from me walking into the middle of chaos, to a portion of that busy room, that seemed to all be very distracted and worried and frustrated over all sorts of other things that were happening, did like a quick head turn in my direction, as soon as I said, “I’m not sure I believe in futility.” 

And they said, “What do you mean?” 

And I said, “well, a belief in futility would assume that you can keep making physical action, and not ever arrive at the outcome that you want. I’m not sure I believe in that anymore. I did. For a while. Clearly, I was human. I did a lot of stuff over and over and over and over again, and sometimes it didn’t work. But I see that now. And so I’m not sure that I’m subject to the belief in futility in the same way. And given that choice, I’m not sure I would choose it today.” 

I remember there being sort of like a moment of “hunh” from the beings as it it sort of sunk in for them. It was almost like we were having a conversation, however many of them there were technically that were listening. I’m not sure I could quantify it. But we were sort of in the middle of chaos, looking at each other…and I think both of us were as stunned by the other. 

I was amazed that they could feel like something was futile, in a very similar way to how I could feel. And they were sort of stunned that I had a perspective about being human that was to the side, or outside of, the experience of being human. 

If those beings had somehow magically shown up on my wavelengths a week prior, and said to me on the wavelengths of physical sound, “Katie, do you believe in futility?” From THAT vantage point, I might have said, “yeah, yeah, sometimes things are futile. And you just, you just got to give up. Like, you just got to walk away and find a different path.” Do you see? I would have been a little more resonant with the concept of futility. 

But then there I was, on energetic wavelengths, from a totally different vantage point of my own existence, the same phone line, I guess you could say that I used to talk to The Chorus, for all those years. And a being turns to me from also the experience of futility and in a way says, “do you believe in futility?” To which I was able to reply, that I saw it as a choice. 

I didn’t take issue with the idea of futility, I saw it as a concept. And I saw it as a thing that could be chosen or not. 

So around this point in the conversation, the beings expressed that they would very much like to continue the conversation. That they kind of couldn’t believe that I was human and saying that and resonating in this place and energetically connecting and their, their frustration was now totally morphing into really sort of a mystification and a confusion and an interest. 

And that was about when my beliefs had had as much as they could handle. And I sort of thanked them and hung up the phone. 

And I turned to The Chorus, and I said, “that was nuts! That was nuts! I mean, they were they were SO much like me, but but not. But not human.” 

And The Chorus was glowing…just so divine. And they expressed that something very, very, very loving and expansive, had just been connected and begun. 

There are many things that are going to start to unfold that won’t all be explained in the minute they happen. As The Chorus said, for a while, it’s going to look like a lot of different horses in the race. But they will eventually connect and they will all cross the finish line.

To me, failure is a horse in the race. It’s not an underlying theme. It’s not the game board. It’s an aspect of awakening. 

Sometimes we’re gonna feel like we are riding the horse to the finish line and the championship trophy. And sometimes we’re gonna feel like the horse of failure is mowing us down. The issue is not with failure. With the horse. It’s with our choice of perspective…on the ground in front of the galloping horse, to the side of the galloping horse, on top of the galloping horse. There are so many options. So many more than we could list in our five senses perspective. 

But I do know this: the more time I have spent with the horse of failure, and running along beside it and trying to keep up with it, the clearer it has become that I can simply jump on top of it and move with it. 

If futility is a choice, then failure could be too. 

We currently define failure by the five senses manifestations, by things we had thought would go one way and when quite another, and things that we judge are not going well. But if you move into an energetic place, maybe even the same place that you might start to perceive other beings from, you might see that failure is a construct of five senses manifestations and judgments and beliefs. And it is not actually reflective of the energy that underlies those things. 

It is possible to sense in failure, the start of something important, the beginning of an opening, of an expansion, of new connections, of a colossal revolution that is uplifting and loving. When you sense, when you feel, that aspect, for a while it may not line up to what’s happening on the five senses. But the choice is yours. 

You can kneel down and try and sweep away the many hoofprints that are left in the dirt or you can move with them, and begin the ride of a lifetime. 

// View List of Season 2 Episodes

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