The Chorus describes their perspective on our ability to ask questions, and the journey we have already traveled up to that point. They indicate that this is our growing awareness of the fractures within our consciousness. The recognition that something is missing, that something is not known, is the start of its appearance. Katie shares more of the memories she has had of our ancient history, in particular the role that forgetfulness and eyesight have played in upholding this separation. And how that is starting to fade away to reveal greater truths and connections.
As mentioned, the episode on destruction: S02E05 The Birth of Human Destruction & The Locks of Shame
Would you like to know an interesting geological fact? La Garita Caldera is a large super volcanic caldera in the San Juan volcanic field in the San Juan Mountains in southwestern Colorado.
Now, if you had not heard about La Garita Caldera before this episode, I would not be surprised. Because though I am fan of mountain ranges all over the world, I had never come across this particular reference until after I had started to remember some of the things that I share in this episode.
But it might be worth adding to your list of interesting places because the eruption that created the La Garita Caldera is among the largest known volcanic eruptions in Earth’s history, as well as being one of the most powerful known super volcanic events. Seemed kind of noteworthy, doesn’t it?
Isn’t it interesting how some things come and go in popularity in our mass consciousness, in our group consensus, I guess I should say. As sometimes we are taken by storm by certain ideas, or songs, or lores, or video games, or past times, or types of food, and they ripple through our societies like wildfire. Then other times, there are things that would seem on paper to be very remarkable, practically incredible. And yet it doesn’t pique our interest in the least.
Why do we see some things and not others?…Is a topic that we would like to discuss today.
As usual, The Chorus has the most magical way of marveling at all the things that we have not been able to do…and all the things that we have.
In the first part of the episode, you’ll hear directly from The Chorus themselves, and then afterwards we will discuss. Seeeeee you soon.
Beloved Ones, how much we enjoy these conversations with you. Your faculty for asking us questions cannot be overestimated. For it is nothing less than your conscious ability to become aware of your own perspectives.
In asking a question, you ascertain your own perspective, things you wish to know, things that you do not know yet, your worthiness to receive the answer, and all of these things combine into an action, a choice, perhaps several choices, that lead you on a path of finally clicking the play button on this episode and hearing from beings who love you very much, just how important it is that you are able to ask questions…and just how important it is that you honor all the questions that you have.
We understand, Dear Ones, that many of you have many questions which have been unanswered for so long as to perhaps seem to be impossible to be answered. And we will not argue with this perspective. It is the utmost, the culmination, everything you all desired in coming here: the disconnection. The separation between all of these parts of yourself. The you that is here in this conscious perspective and all the other many perspectives of you that hold the answers to these things.
In fracturing your consciousness, in fracturing yourselves, you achieved something extraordinary: the experience of disconnection, separation, and apart. Not just within yourselves, and all the things that you used to know, but also in an experience of separation from life, as you know it. From all other beings, from all other relationships, you find that there are chasms, distances. Perhaps you might say, a superficiality in your ability to connect with others.
For many of you this is starting to become apparent. You are starting to recognize these distances. That you may hear and others words, and you may even be close to them physically, but that you do not understand what is going on inside of them. And perhaps you are well aware that at times you do not understand what is going on inside of yourselves.
Beloved ones, this is only the beginning. This is a first step, a first indication, to recognize the gaps. To know and to truly see all the eras that you have passed through with those unanswered questions, to see in all of your relationships a possibility and a potential for deeper and more profound understanding that is not there.
First, the light of your consciousness shines upon these things. It is known and it is seen. And in that you honor and you bring to life, the possibility that it could be different. That is the first step of it becoming different.
Perhaps, you know by now, that were you to progress down this path, there would likely be a next question and there would likely appear a next relationship. They may not show up in time, in the same space, with the answer or with the depths of knowing. But those things will come after perhaps in faster and faster spans of time.
Therefore, is any of this truly about what is missing?
Is it really just about the answer that you do not have or the depth of connection that you lack? All of which you perceive from the beautiful, incredible five senses perspective?
Or could this also be about your relationship with time?
Are you now more aware than ever of the delay that exists between these things, and are you not demanding, asking, resonating towards in your ways, a new idea of speed, a new idea of time and what is possible within it? And a concept of acceleration, not just in terms of speeding around in your five senses world, but acceleration as a concept of choice, of conscious control of that distance, of that gap. Of an ability that you are starting to sense….to move over it, or through it, or around it, whichever direction you prefer, at your own pace, at your leisure.
Perhaps what you are becoming conscious of is not just what is lacking, but also your power, the _possibility_ to change those things and no longer be driven by them unconsciously.
Beloved Ones, you are awakening to everything that you are. To all the pieces that surround you and to all the things that are yours to choose.
We love you infinitely.
Discussion with Katie
I was talking to a good friend the other day. And you know, I’m not even sure how we got onto the topic. But we started relating about times when we had been wrong.
And she shared with me a moment, a few years back in which she had sort of gotten an inkling or an intuition, of great luck, great fortune. And this, to her, coincided in a series of events that sort of led her into a conception that she would win the lottery.
She was so certain. It came from that place, from that extraordinary follow it kind of place. So she goes and she buys a lottery ticket. And the rest of that day, she’s seeing friends and she is just on cloud nine, just totally riding the wave of this incredible belief, incredible conviction that this was coming. And she even told people that she was going to win.
And then she didn’t.
She told me, she said, “I felt like such an idiot. I don’t know why I thought that. I don’t…I don’t know why I was so sure.”
And you know, she’s been way down the path of awakening. So she can look back and say, okay, yeah, as a result of that experience, you know, I’ve moved over in this direction, and I awoke to this other stuff and realize these things and…right? You kind of…you see it.
But really, for me, that’s not what I’ve been contemplating lately. I’ve been contemplating that experience of error.
Because I’ll give you a contrast. By contrast, I was reading a book the other day. And in the story, there’s a guy who is ready to move his business forward and to really go in that direction. And he gets an inkling that he’s going to win the lottery. And so the next morning, he goes to work. And then at a certain time he tells a coworker, he says, “I got to go buy a lottery ticket. I gotta go do this.”
And the coworker says, “I’ll come with you.”
So he and the co worker go to a gas station nearby. And they walk into the convenience store. And the guy is trying to pick his lottery numbers. And his coworker sees a license plate outside and says, “why don’t you use those numbers?” And the guy has this knowing sensation inside of him that like, “yeah, yeah, those numbers.” So he writes the numbers on the ticket, and he wins. Something like $20,000.
So, my friend and I both understand, of course, that her not winning the lottery, you know, still life moved forward. But what’s going on in that moment? What’s happening inside of us where sometimes we get a conviction and a knowing that something’s going to happen… And it doesn’t.
But then also, there are times when we get a knowing and a conviction inside of us that something’s going to happen…and it does.
Could we just say that my friend who didn’t win the lottery didn’t have as “tuned in” of a knowing function as the other guy? Is it really about degrees of proficiency?
That would be a valid perspective, from our classic five senses stance in which the __only way we know how to control the outcome of our actions__ is through practice, and study and mastery. Spending a great amount of time scrutinizing and trying to perfect those skill sets. And I will not argue with those methods or that perspective.
But what’s a different way to look at this? How else could we understand our own sense of knowing?
The Chorus does today talked about honoring our questions. Basically, that by their view, our ability to even get to the point of asking a question is actually the culmination of a journey already traveled.
Most of the time humans think of the question as the start. But by The Chorus’s, is perspective, they see all of the beliefs that we had to get through in order to even conceive of the question itself, but then also take action, take steps to ask the question. To open up to that answer.
This means we had to have reached a place of conscious understanding that that answer was missing, that there was a possibility for something else that was not here, and why? We had to flex or shift around our ideas of control and trust in order to believe that that question could possibly be answered. And that answer might not be a threat to us. And then we have to move through all sorts of beliefs in order to find a place and a time and a situation in which we feel that question could be answered.
So the lead up to asking a question like this may not always be this conscious to us. Much of this happens in the background, which is, by The Chorus’s view just as powerful.
But still, there is a progression, there is a series of achievements, of expansive steps that lead to the ability to ask what we want to know.
One of the hardest steps, in fact may come right before. Just before we have the opportunity to ask, in which many beliefs will activate about…I’ll just say…the stupidity of the question.
Right before the question comes out of our mouths, there is an influx of beliefs that will question the rationality, or the value, or if this question is going to be, quite frankly, a ridiculous waste of time.
Many thoughts come in on the heels of these beliefs that often have something to say to the effect of, “oh, you can probably Google it later. Don’t waste their time. I think they already answered that. Go back and listen to it later. That’s probably in your notes somewhere. Didn’t you already learn that already?” Things that will question the merit of the question itself, but also the merit of us.
How will we look? How will we be perceived? How will we be evaluated based on the questions that we want to ask?
At a meta level there is __an assumption of deficiency__ that is laid out before us in plain sight. These beliefs point out *holes* in our logic, in our reasoning, in our worthiness, in our estimation of the time remaining in the session for our question to even be answered. You name it, there will be a deficiency that oftentimes these beliefs will point to. And in so doing activate an uncertainty.
An uncertainty that we may not be able to ask this question the way we thought we could, without some sort of a payback. Perhaps we’ll be laughed at. Oerhaps they won’t answer it to our satisfaction. Perhaps I should have already known this myself and I don’t need to ask it now. There may be anger at self, anger at others, for the idea that something about your needing to know these things is wrong.
My deficiency beliefs have always cropped up very softly. They’re very stealth, which made them for a long time very hard for me to see. Because many of those beliefs, challenged me in such a way that they brought me to greater heights.
So oftentimes, in my career, as I was set down in front of a new scientific or specialist team, I had literally not a freaking clue what they were talking about. In the beginning, I found my way through those conversations by spending a lot of time in the off hours researching what it was that my counterparts were talking about. A lot of my technological or scientific know how is self taught. Thank goodness for Google, because I achieved a lot of job security simply by my drive to go home and figure out what it was that these people that I was working with, were talking about…with this new vocabulary that I didn’t understand, or what it was that they were trying to solve or how they saw the world. And that added up to a lot of hours invested in these sorts of things.
Over time, as life expanded, you could say, I didn’t have as much time in my off hours to do what I had done in the past. But I had also grown in my confidence, and my belief in myself, that I was asking good questions, that maybe they were basic, and they were definitely at like a 101 kind of level. But they would lead to a greater understanding that ultimately would help me see the project through.
So I started to ask my questions of these counterparts more directly. Now, it didn’t start out all sunshine and roses. I mean, sometimes as I was asking these very basic questions, I knew that I risked looking like an idiot. There, I would be in group meetings with experts from nonprofit fields, or scientific fields, or authors or CEOs of companies, or I don’t even know how I landed in these different meetings. But regardless of the role, I tried to really focus on what it was that I was trying to understand.
And sometimes my questions were as simple as in the middle of an intense explanation of the result of a variety of statistics, let’s say that had been run on a project, I would ask a very basic question like, “What exactly is a statistic?”
And now you might be thinking, “Katie, what the hell were you doing in that meeting if you didn’t understand what a statistic was?”
And to which I would reply to you, “I don’t know.”
I don’t know how I found myself in these situations. But I always felt like I could figure it out. Whatever it was the next thing that I didn’t know, I always believed somehow that I could figure it out somehow.
Now as this transition from spending my off hours researching things, and I lost my ability to spend that time, it accelerated into the moment itself where I simply had to honor the fact that I had the question because if this meeting kept going, and I didn’t understand what a statistic was, I was definitely going to miss everything that they said next.
If I missed my chance to establish context at the start then everything thereafter would be lost, would be more difficult for me to understand and catch the importance of.
So I got better and better at recognizing those crucial moments where my context needed to be updated. And just asking.
Did I look like an idiot sometimes? Yes, absolutely.
But this is where time started to serve a different purpose. Because the more I gave myself permission to ask those questions that I knew I needed to ask, the more my understanding did grow. The more my understanding grew, the more others could see how my line of questioning was actually leading somewhere. Even if you stripped out any one of those individual questions, they may have looked like nonsense. But when you strung them together into sort of a growing understanding, they started to make a lot of sense and take on sort of an importance in their own right.
And this is where another shift occurred, where I moved beyond not just being able to be more comfortable with asking stupid questions. Because I didn’t think they were stupid. Maybe they were basic, very, very, very basic. But I also saw them as connected to something else that I didn’t yet understand, or I didn’t yet know what it would be. But I knew it was just a step. It was a step leading to somewhere.
As I moved forward into this understanding, questioning took on a different flavor, a different sense, where I could walk into a room and sense the first question of this CONNECTION.
The connection that I was starting to feel out felt almost as or more real to me, then the individual questions. The individual questions, were just building blocks, were just a way of piecing together something that I had a sixth sense for, but I didn’t know where it was leading. In this way, I think I had started to perceive maybe a little bit what The Chorus is talking about today, which is, the question is already down the path.
By the time you think of the question, you have already begun building towards something, and this question is simply the next step on that journey.
So my presence in the room, became part of this context. Became part of the question. It went from being focused upon the words and what was being said, to these larger stories and these larger arcs of my life, where I saw many connective pieces. I saw the question, I saw the conversation, I saw the things I had been thinking the night before, I saw the path that had led me into this particular meeting and group of people. It was all connected.
The disconnection that The Chorus talked about today has many different faces. The largest and perhaps far reaching of those perspectives of this disconnection is the one that we talked about a couple of weeks ago, in the episode about destruction and the origins of basically our experience of limitation, or of humanity, you could say, depending on how you define humanity, in which we were the cause of a great cataclysm. One that we did not intend to cause. We were wrong.
Now, the details of that event, are still coming through and will be coming through for all of us as we continue to remember these things. But essentially, what that means in our energetic understanding of self is that this experience of being wrong is so fundamental to what we are as to have been sort of the basis or the first step of this experience.
And by way of that continued to generate more and different experiences of limitation.
Now, the “being wrong,” sort of was a fascinating subset of a larger thing that happened in that moment, which was a disconnection from the infinite part of ourselves that knows. Therefore, you might say that the first experience of limitation that we had was a disconnection from the infinite part of ourselves where nothing is limited. And one output of that was a disconnection from the part of ourselves that knows.
In that moment, we did not have limitless knowledge. And we did not have infinite access to all perspectives. We were wrong.
**As time went on, or as you might say, the concept of time continued to be constructed, the distance between the things we wished we knew, and the knowing of them continued to expand. We stretched further and further into this limitation.***
And the connections between different parts of ourselves, that is different perspectives, also continued to stretch. The disconnection grew. To the point where now for most humans, these beliefs are so unconscious as to simply constitute the nature of reality. We embody a belief system that says it is quite common, it is quite possible for us to be wrong at every turn. And for us to not know things in every minute of the day.
I don’t know what we’re eating for dinner tonight. It’s only a few hours away. I have access to knowing what is in my pantry and in my fridge. But that decision has not yet been made. That time has not yet arrived. I cannot see into it. I don’t know what discussion we’re going to have in the kitchen later today.
I don’t know if it’s going to rain this afternoon. There are clouds in the sky outside my window. Now I could make a guess. But I know that I could probably be wrong.
Now these two examples are so commonplace as to practically be unremarkable. If someone told you, “I don’t know what I’m going to cook my family for dinner tonight.” We wouldn’t even have a reaction except maybe “yeah, me either.”
And if someone said, “I can’t guess what the weather’s going to be this afternoon.” You might say, “yeah, neither can the weatherman.” Right?
This aspect of not knowing follows us around everywhere. It is unsurprising to us when we don’t know things. When we can’t connect to things, when we don’t see things, when we don’t hear things.
When something flies right over our head and half the crowd sees it and half the crowd doesn’t. We find it more remarkable that something flew over our heads and how did it do that, than the fact that 50% of the crowd that was standing right next to the other 50% of the crowd did not see it.
Now, from the perspective of The Chorus, they think this is incredible.
How can you come from an infinite place and build something so incredibly vast, colossal and powerful as to thwart your own innate power to know and to perceive, and to connect to anything on any wavelength in all of creation?
And then The Chorus watches us scramble all around our room looking for the pen just to discover that it was behind our ear.
So much is right in front of our very eyes. But those eyes had been designed to not see things.
Early in the second book, which, again, I think, feel slash guess will be out in the fall. But I’m a human, and I don’t know everything so maybe not. But in the second book from The Chrous, The Book of Human Remembrance, they make a point about how we embody our beliefs, which is something that we’ve talked about many times in these podcast episodes in season one and season two.
But something they point out is that we embody these beliefs of limitation right down to how we perceive energy, or rather, how we don’t.
We are well aware of this new and growing understanding that the mind has sort of a selective ability. That we will sometimes see things in a room or not see them, that we can be looking right at the jewelry on our desk that we were looking for and not actually perceive it, or that when we look at a situation we may see some aspects of it that appeal more to what we believe than the aspects that don’t.
Literally and figuratively speaking, the way we see the world around us, is a reflection of our beliefs of limitation.
Now, as The Chorus has said, as we change in our resonance, our beliefs will also change. And as a result of these beliefs, our embodiment, our human form, the way our senses interact with our environment will also change.
But I think what The Chorus has suggested about eyesight, and disconnection is much more profound than that.
I’d like to tell you about more things that I remember.
And as same as in the last episode on destruction, I don’t have anything to back this up with. I don’t have any manifestations or scientific data. I only have what I’ve experienced in terms of remembering these things. If aspects of it resonate, then you’ll know if it’s true for you. There are many realities, there are many perspectives, we don’t have to share in them all all at once.
There is an infinite amount of time to see things in many different ways. And so you don’t have to rush through your current perspective. In fact, by way of honoring it, you are more likely to expand through all the limitations of time.
After that initial destruction, things didn’t go great. My sense is that there was a very, very long period of time that seemed like an abyss. Everything had been laid waste to, the disconnection was so great. We didn’t even know that there was any life left. We didn’t even know where each other were. Somehow, things started to collect back together, I guess you could say.
And, I don’t even know how to put this on a linear timeline, So let’s just say that we can’t. The next memory that comes through to me is that, well, we kept trying to fix it. Which also did not go well. And oftentimes ended up in more destruction, more mistakes, more errors.
There were times when we were able to help rebuild. And it seemed to be going in the right direction only to ultimately surprise us in how something had been overlooked.
I do not know how to tell you how long that era went on for in the concept of linear time. But I can tell you another memory that comes through next…which is that at some point, we came across the concept, the belief, the ability to see.
Up until that point, we had not been perhaps we could say that specific.
Now I know that right now, eyesight seems to us to be one of our most expansive ways of perceiving energy. And as usual, in awakening, nothing is inherently good or bad. There are different perspectives about everything. So that perspective is valid.
But also you can imagine that coming from a more expansive place where we had an abundance of connection to different energies viewed from this perspective, that narrowing down our ability to perceive things simply to the wavelengths of visible light, would have been more limiting.
We were drawn to this choice is the best I can say. I remember a sense of, of desire of strong passion, I guess you could say for for this concept, and this thing.
This would gel well with the way The Chorus describes our trajectory here and through limitation, which is the desire guides you through. And I remember, a desire for this deliciously specific thing called eyesight. We wanted to SEEE things. It didn’t strike us at the time as being more limited. It seemed like the next most amazing experience. It seemed incredible to us. And also it seemed to dovetailed nicely, I guess you could say into what we were already capable of doing at that time. I don’t know how to describe the sense that I have. But it strikes me that eyesight was a gift. We were given somehow, this ability by others that we had come into contact with, and we wanted it.
It was a choice to resonate with a particular band of frequency and perception of that in in the visible way.
We feel so expansive to me, in this memory, coming from this perspective, so vast, so, so capable of so many things, that eyesight feels like a pinprick. And yet, that’s what we wanted.
Time passes, or somehow I don’t know, the next memory comes through, and our mistakes have grown. Time has passed, and there has been another cataclysm, very near our planet Earth, one that I can’t explain. And we are in part, responsible for it.
Our regret is deep. Our remorse is such a burden. It’s so heavy.
And we arrive here, I guess you could say, on the earth plane, I don’t know this realm of consciousness, this planet, however you want to define it, it’s fine with me. And we come here with a conviction, with a certainty, that the best way to prevent ourselves from doing this ever again, is to confine ourselves. To basically put ourselves in jail.
We determine that the best way to create this jail is by way of forgetting. By way of cutting off our access to all the other frequencies. That we will limit ourselves to the perception of only what is right in front of our faces. And in that way, we will be unable to move, to shift around, or to make any more of these mistakes.
It is my understanding that the jail was our choice to forget. And the jailer was eyesight.
That we would limit our perception of energy, basically down to our ability to see. That that would be our world and our universe. And everything that would constitute our perception.
We would see what we believed. And we would believe what we would see. And in that tightly wound cycle, very little else would ever be able to get in and very little would ever be able to get out.
I’m so sad. I’m so sad remembering these things because I feel the remorse that led us to this decision.
And I’m going to say one more thing that I know sounds very strange. But that the remnants of this decision can still be seen in a place of cataclysm that exists today in Colorado. I’ve looked for it. I’ve tried to understand it. I’ve been afraid to ask very specific questions of The Chorus. Because I’m still coming around at times to my ability to ask.
My understanding is that geologists have found the remnants of what may have been the largest volcanic event in the history of the Earth as we understand it. And those remnants are in South and southwestern Colorado, around the Spanish peaks and the lava fields and evidence of a colossal eruption that is many, many, many, many millions years old.
You know, I don’t have all the pieces yet. But I came to a lot of places to ask the questions that I did that came to those understandings. I don’t know where they connect yet. And I absolutely cannot yet put it on a line of time.
Do you know what occurred to me the other day? I don’t have to have all the pieces. Because I have mine. And you have yours.
The disconnection, the shattering of our consciousness…From that great, great start to this experience of limitation was the beginning of many of these puzzle pieces. At first, I thought it was about collecting the different puzzle pieces and seeing my way through all my different perspectives…somehow along the way I had lost so thoroughly as to forget they even existed at all.
But then I remembered something even more important, which is that we are each other’s puzzle pieces too.
In order to complete this story, we’re going to need the puzzle pieces of every single one of us that went through this together.
Your uniqueness is required for creation to be complete.
And though I marvel at the memories I’m having already, I know that mine will make even more sense when you are able to share yours.
And do you know how I’ll know that it’s starting for you? It’s by way of the questions that you will be able to ask. I won’t know where your line of questioning is heading. And it may sound like a very, very silly question, if that was all I was looking at. But most of the time I feel something behind every question that’s ever asked of me in The Chorus. It’s someone who’s moving towards connection.
They’re not showing up to argue they’re not showing up to demand that they be right, and they’re not showing up to fight against other perspectives. They are able to somehow move into that trusting and expansive place where they can simply ask.
And by that openness, they invite all the connection, that we are now returning to. The incredible, amazing experience of understanding in new ways what connection means and is by way of the loving choice that we made to give it up.
The dawning of a new age does not start when a different sun rises over the horizon. It starts when we are able to see more of the light and what it shines upon. When we can see more and different beings, more and different artifacts of our prior empires, when we are able to see beyond the barriers of the prison that we created…we will be able to do so because first we will have begun to truly and deeply see more of each other.
And for all of these experiences we will know even more that we are loved infinitely.